Bacon-Diesel Creates Better Smelling Exhaust

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Once again it has been proven that bacon can do anything. The company Bio-Blend Fuels has started to use bacon grease to run cars.

It’s a process of blending biodiesel and regular diesel together to give you a cleaner cheaper fuel. Most biodiesel is made from things like corn or sugarcane but these guys use bacon. The grease that falls off precooked bacon is collected and processed turning it into fuel.

It always great to find new ways to use bacon, I just find a few flaws with this system. The grease used comes from precooked bacon. That means that to make this a successful alternative to gas everybody has to eat more bacon. That’s a concept that I could get behind if it wasn’t precooked. We all know that precooked bacon is ok for a quick fix but it is not the bacon of choice when it comes to most bacon lovers.

It also isn’t as cheap as one would think. To make it work it must be blended with regular diesel and that drives the price back up. A 50-50 blend costs $2.09 per gallon and regular diesel costs about 10 to 20 cents more. (Depending on where you live.) Is saving 10 cents a gallon really worth going through all the trouble of getting a diesel engine put in your car and driving around actually trying to find one of these Bio-Blend stations? I don’t think so.

Some might say that it doesn’t matter that how much money it saves because it saves the planet. But I don’t buy into that whole global warming thing, maybe that’s because I actually paid attention in third grade science class.

The only reason I could find for using this fuel is that when it burns in your engine it makes the entire car smell like bacon. That might make it all worth it.

By Sean Brett

Wendy’s Bacon Morning Melt Panini: Bacon Fail

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I heard a commercial on the radio yesterday for the fast food chain Wendy’s. The radio ad went on to say that many fast food bacon is subpar, (Something that we have been saying for years). But that Wendy’s finally had the solution. Wendy’s is now claiming that their new Apple wood Smocked bacon is “crispy, twice as thick as before,” and that this is “the way bacon ought to be.”

The new bacon is available on their breakfast menu in the bacon egg and cheese biscuit and the Bacon Morning Melt Panini. Now I’m that guy that likes fast food breakfast but can never seem to get up before 10:30am, but today I made a sure my alarm was set for 6 am so I would have plenty of time.

I rolled up to the drive thru at about 7 and ordered the number 2. It came with the Bacon Morning Melt Panini (BMMP) a side of tots and a drink choice (I chose a vanilla iced coffee). The bill was a little over 5 bucks; I paid, got my food and was off to work.

During the couple minute commute all I could think about was crispy thick apple wood bacon. I wanted it so bad, I think I was driving at least 80MPH. A small part of my mind was saying “calm down, you’ve been tricked by fast food bacon claims before,” but I pushed that thought out of my head and started to drive even faster.

I ran into work BMMP in hand. When I got to my desk I opened the bag like a kid on Christmas. As I pulled the BMMP out one thing I noticed was the smell or the lack there of. I could smell the cheese, the egg, and even the vanilla from my coffee but not the bacon; this was not a good sign.

I took the BMMP out of its wrapper and could not see any bacon sticking out but I still had high hopes. I slowly lifted the bread and to my horror couldn’t see any bacon. All I saw was yellow egg. Then I realized the sandwich was upside down. I flipped it over and slowly lifted that slice of bread. Under it was a slice of tomato cheese and three slices of bacon. The bacon was longer than most fast food bacon but definitely not thicker. As for the claim of being crispy, that was a bald faced lie. Not one bit of the bacon had any crisp on it. It was all limp and chewy.

I ate one of the slices to see if I could taste the apple wood but unfortunately it wasn’t really there. There was a very faint flavor of it, and tasted like the flavor was added later not smoked into the meat.

Once again Wendy’s has disappointed me with bold claims and poor execution. It’s true that this bacon is a step up from the bacon used on the Baconator, but I still would not call this good bacon. So unfortunately I must continue the boycott of Wendy’s bacon products.

On a side note, I must also start a boycott on Wendy’s iced coffee. My vanilla iced coffee had a strange after taste that made me gag. The best way I can describe the taste is kind of like a rotten burnt vanilla, Wendy’s is starting to become by far the worst fast food chain in the game.

By Sean Brett

Soft Drink Tax Will Lead to Bacon Tax

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It has begun. The government is talking about giving health care to every US citizen. Now you might be sitting back in your chair and thinking, “good everyone should have health care”, and “yes in a perfect world it would be nice.” We don’t live in a perfect world, and just because it seem s nice doesn’t mean we should do it.

There is going to be a lot of debate on this subject in the coming weeks, and you will hear many different arguments for and against it. Like its basic human rights or why should my tax dollars pay for someone else? No matter what your stance may be there is one thing that we can’t ignore, and that is this thing is going to cost us $1.2 trillion dollars.

Now you might be asking yourself, “Where is that money going to come from?” and that’s where the biggest problem with this comes into to play. The government has no way of paying for this at its current state so there solution is to raise taxes, and their target is so called unhealthy food.

Right now congress is looking into a possible tax on soft drinks. The argument is that those drinks have large amounts of sugar and if a person drinks to much of them, it could cause health complications. So any product that helps contribute to health problems must also provide part of the solution, and that comes in the form of tax.

The tax is being proposed on soda, certain fruit drinks, sports drinks, energy drinks, and ready to drink teas, but excludes most diet sodas. It is said to cost consumers around 3 cents for every 12 oz drink and is estimated to bring in $24 billion a year. That still leaves $1.176 trillion that we need.

It doesn’t take a genius to see where this is going. Since any food eaten in excess can cause health issues that means all food is fair game. Red meat, candy bars, butter, salt, cheese, and the most devastating of all bacon are at risk of taxation.

If this passes through it won’t be long before big brother starts to say that we should just eliminate these foods to cut down on health care expenses. It has already started with the Trans fat ban in New York.

I’m not a huge fan of some of the governments’ policies but for the most part I accept them, but if they try to take away my bacon I will personally lead the charge to Washington. Bacon lovers mount up!

By Sean Brett

The Heart Attack Snack

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As the summer BBQ season is getting ready to kick off and can’t help shedding a single tear for the lack of bacon. With people leaving their kitchen and heading to the back yard bacon gets left in the fridge.

It’s not that people eat less bacon in the summer, it’s because the traditional cook out food is prepared on a grill or over an open fire. Hot dogs, BBQ chicken, and burgers take main stage and the only time you find any bacon is when your crazy aunt makes her bacon potato salad.

That’s just not good enough. Here at MrBaconpants.com we have devoted countless minutes coming up with a way to make bacon the star of the backyard cookout, and I think we might have done it.

The Heart Attack Snack

Items needed:

  • Eggs
  • Mayonnaise
  • Bacon
  • Kabob sticks
  1. First hard boil the eggs. (As many as you want, have fun with it.) When done, peel the eggs making sure to remove all the bits of shell.
  2. You will now need to cook the bacon. Place bacon in skillet on low heat. (You will need about 1 strip per egg.) Cook the bacon until it very crispy. When the bacon is done carefully remove it from the pan and let it cool on some paper towels to absorb the grease. When bacon is cool crumble it in to small pieces.
  3. Put the eggs on the kabob sticks so they resemble a lollipop.
  4. Coat the eggs with a layer of mayonnaise.
  5. Roll the mayo covered egg in the bacon crumbles completely incasing the egg in bacon.
  6. Enjoy the Heart Attack Snack!!!!!

This simple snack is about to be seen at every BBQ from New York to California. Move over macaroni salad, potato chips, and bug juice and make room for bacon!!

By Sean Brett

Bacon: a Drunk’s Best Friend

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Science does it again. Every time someone puts out a story about how bacon will kill you, the bacon lovers in the science community go to work. Although it only takes seconds of research to discover that bacon is the most amazing thing on the planet, it takes hours to show scientifically why. The latest breakthrough could be the best of them all.

We all know that people love to drink beer but hate that hung over feeling the next morning. It makes the next day a painful blur. But what if there was a miracle cure that would allow you to get as wasted as you want, and still be able to perform your duties of school bus driver the next day? Well now there is. It’s called the “Bacon Buddy”.

This isn’t some new drug that going to cost you hundreds of dollars, chances are you have everything you need in your kitchen right now. The bacon buddy is as simple as a couple of slices of bacon (cooked to your liking) and two pieces of bread.

That’s right; a good old bacon sandwich is all you need. Elin Roberts, the science development manager at the Centre for Life says, “Food doesn’t soak up the alcohol, but it does increase your metabolism.” The food helps you feel better because the bread is high in carbohydrate and the bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Alcohol depletes neurotransmitters but the gift from the gods known as bacon contains a high level of amines which replenishes them, giving you a clearer head.

Elin Roberts is the same great scientist that showed us why we love the smell and taste of bacon. Mosley wrote about it early this week, you should check it out.

I love science.

By Sean Brett

Lime Life Blogger Bashes Fat People

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In a recent Limelife.com article, they decided to slam the food network for its chefs making fatty food. The extremely boring story went on to say that they no longer liked the food networks programming.

The author goes on saying that they used to have good hosts that made good recipes and all they have now is “…a bunch of bozos and created clowns…” They then go on to slam the recipes saying they’re so bad that they are “…killing people, one recipe at a time.”

If only we could go back to the good old days of the Food Network with respectable hosts and healthy food. Respectable and healthy like Emeril Lagasse, the man that cooked in front of a crowd that screamed with ecstasy whenever he would add a pound of butter to any dish.

By far the worst part of this article was the headline “Paula Deen and her Monkey Bread Are Killing You.” You leave Paula Deen alone. She is a sweet old lady that makes food the way it was before health Nazis started demanding that the world eat healthier. We don’t need you to tell us, that when Paula makes a bacon cheese burger between two doughnuts that we shouldn’t eat that every day. And what if I want to eat it every day? What gives you the right to judge me? I bet you liberal hippie health nuts would never judge a gay man for his lifestyle choice. But you sure as hell would judge a fat person.

I got some news for you Limelife.com, We’re loud, we’re proud, and we’re fat.

By Sean Brett

Editor Note: I was going to put a picture of Monkey Balls (the food) on this post, but I was to chicken to type Monkey Balls in to Google. – JM

Mainstream Media Blackout of Mr. Baconpants

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Jolene Ketzenberger from the Indianapolis Star wrote a story about the never heard of before bacon craze that’s sweeping the nation. Besides being about 3 years late, there was one other thing that I disliked about the story, the lack of Mr. Baconpants.

Come on you so called reporters do your homework. This lady refers to bacon blogs but only mentions bacn.com and bacontoday.com (both very new to bacon blogging). Where’s the love? Mr. Baconpants has been thriving for years with a large and loyal fan base, but these “reporters” refuse to acknowledge our presence.

Could it be because they are not really into the whole bacon lifestyle? Could it be that their boss tells them to do a bacon story so they just crap one out? Or could it be that the mainstream media has a boycott against Mr. Baconpants?

Sure you might think I sound a bit crazy with that last one, but think about it. Mr. Baconpants tells it how it is. We’ve slammed Wendy’s, Arby’s, McDonalds, and any other company or person that insults us with their low standard of bacon.

We all know that the majority of companies in this world are owned by the same people. Is it too much of a stretch to think that the owner of Arby’s has connections with NBC, CBS, FOX, or any other media source. And that our reporting style might ruffle a few feathers.

Well, the mainstream media blackout of Mr. Baconpants isn’t going to stop us. The internet is where the revolution is taking place. Our voice will be herd, and as long as restaurants keep trying to take advantage of the average bacon lover, we will be here to let you good people know about it.

Thank you for all your support, and remember bacon loves you.

By Sean Brett