This is blasphemy! Litelife, the makers of “Smart Bacon”, should be forced to take smart out of the name. There are two major reasons for this:

  1. Eating food that tastes and kind of looks like food your against eating is dumb, not smart.
  2. Bacon is known to make developing babies smarter; the same study says nothing about veggies.

What Litelife is doing is a classic example of false advertising. They’re telling people that it’s smart to eat fake food when everyone else says its smart need to eat natural.

Just look at the crazy ingredients: Water, soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, soybean oil, texured soy protein concentrate, textured wheat gluten, less than 2% of: natural smoke flavor, natural flavor (from vegetable sources), grill flavor (from sunflower oil), carrageenan, evaporated cane juice, paprika oleoresin (for flavor and color), potassium chloride, sesame oil, fermented rice flour, tapioca dextrin, citric acid, and salt.

Now let’s take a look at the ingredients of natural bacon: pork, water, and salt.

I don’t know about you, but I think I would rather eat something that has just three ingredients that any five year old could read and other understand.

The silver lining of this story is, the Vegans that are eating this crap obviously miss real bacon. This means we still have a change to save them. Next time you see a frail looking hipster at your local store with Dumb Bacon in their cart. Walk up to them and hand them a package of real bacon. Make sure you also tell them that the Bacon Nation would gladly welcome them bacon.

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13 Responses to Smart Bacon, More Like Dumb Bacon

  1. Aaron says:

    holy shizzit that looks nasty and the ingredients are making me sick too!

  2. Ashley says:

    This is the stupidest argument I have ever heard. When you’re dying of a heart attack due to your arteries being clogged with cholesterol, you’ll wish you had eaten a few alternatives to your meat. Also, you should check out some of the benefits to a vegetarian diet before you bash it.

  3. Jess says:

    What is smart about eating a tortured to death animal?

  4. Jason Mosley says:

    I only support ethical farmers. Also if you think they torture animals before we eat them you are sadly mistaken. Have you even been to a real farm before?

  5. the-samster-chillin says:

    “Eating food that tastes and kind of looks like food your against eating is dumb, not smart.”
    “Make sure you also tell them that the Bacon Nation would gladly welcome them bacon.”

    Isn’t it ironic that you are calling those who refuse to encourage the death of animals dumb, yet your entire argument is littered with embarrassing spelling mistakes? People like you need to be removed from the gene pool as soon as possible.

  6. bammytess8 says:

    Well um some people don’t eat meat but still like the taste of bacon sooooo yea…. it was a stupid defense

  7. bammytess8 says:

    Well i have, they are crowed in pens, kept in the hot if they want food and there is no more then they starve there ribs show and they collapse so umm yea…

  8. Yes,
    several of my family members are farmers and when I was a kid my dad and
    brothers bought live animals and killed them, and prepped them themselves or
    watched them being killed and prepped by others before eating them. It was very
    humane. God gave us meat for food and he told us in the bible how to kill them
    in a kosher manner, not like a lot of farmers today who are cruel and only care
    about how fast they can produce and kill the animals in a inhumane manner.
    It wouldn’t surprise me if the animals were not even bled properly which is not
    healthy for eating.

  9. If you are going to eat meat, I believe you need to get it from a local and ethical farm. You need to know how this animal was slaughtered, and how it was treated. But as for this argument, It is completely ridiculous. first of all, meat has 5 components: Blood, Flesh, Veins, Tendons. Personally I would rather eat things like soy and other NATURAL ingredients. Also, you said the only ingrediants in bacon were pork, salt and water? Well sorry, but you forgot about the fact that they soak the meat in ammonia and bleach, and also inject the animals with steroids and hormones. Please, tell me something that is natural about that? Next time you write about something, please. I beg of you. Know what you’re talking about before you start spewing out false facts.

  10. Kim says:

    I think your website is dumb. And I think you are dumb for caring more about what food tastes like than what’s ethical. Ever watch documentaries on what happens in factory farms? Oh wait, you are dumb so you wouldn’t know.

    Did I mention you are dumb?

  11. Kalki says:

    The author is an IDIOT. First of saying that salt, pork, and water are the only ingredients is BS. The bacon you would eat im sure is full of nitrates that are NOT natural. screw your website eating pork is so bad for your body, and bad for the cute little pigs. Oh also bible humper, there is no such thing as “humane” when MURDERING. I’ll keep eating meat but I realize I am a killer, and no stupid book is going to define how I handle my diet *coughs bible is crap coughs*

  12. Stephanie says:

    So my comment is simple. I agree that your argument isn’t the best, but my reasoning for not eating real bacon (I actually am not vegan, but I don’t eat cow, pig, or chicken) is because since there are added hormones to the animals when they are alive, we actually wind up ingesting those added hormones. I know this because when I was eating cow/pig/chicken (I call it CPC) I noticed that when I was PMSing (you know, Pissed at Men Syndrome) I was figuratively homicidal (not literally, but I felt like committing murder). It got so bad that my mom started timing my PMS and would stay away from me. So in April I decided to modify when I would eat CPC and for the most part, modifying worked, but I still wasn’t the easiest to be around. Then in July I stopped eating CPC and I haven’t had any PMS since. However, I do miss bacon, and chicken, and ham, and burgers, and all the great things people make with CPC, so I do alternatives, and they actually taste like the “real thing.” So for me, it wasn’t about slaughtered animals, or arteries and such. It was simply because I didn’t wanna feel angry. Also, my boss has been vegetarian for over 40 years and she said she didn’t get the menopausal symptoms that all her other friends had. So if your girlfriend tends to break up with you every month, or fights with you around the same time every month, you might wanna give her these alternative meats. :) Good luck with you.

  13. Josie says:

    Pork was one of my favorite meats, but after I saw
    how pigs are tortured, I’ll eat fake bacon anytime.
    And after doing some research on how cows and factory
    dairy farms treat their animals, I can’t eat meat anymore.
    I also stopped drinking milk, until I found some that
    doesn’t have hormones in it.
    Why don’t you google how pigs, cows and dairy cows are treated, and maybe you will change your tune.
    I know when I read and saw how these poor animals are abused for our pleasure really effected me big time.

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