The Bacon Rebellion is just around the corner

Chris Stirewalt wrote on the Washingtonexaminer.com a good short article called “ The next Obamacare target: Your Bacon Sandwich.” It talks about the government trying to make salt a controlled substance and how sugar and fat aren’t far behind.
When a company processes food is losses flavor and to make it taste good the flavor must be added back in. This is done with flavor additives that contain large amounts of sodium. Without the salt the products would lack flavor and people wouldn’t want to eat them, causing a drop in sales for large corporations and hopefully raising the sales for small organic farms.
One thing he points out that I never thought about is the fact that the major corporations aren’t about to lose sales and are already looking for a new chemical to replace salt but keep the flavor. This is not a good thing for two reasons. One, every time food companies come up with some new chemical to replace a natural substance it only takes a couple years before people our screaming from the roof tops about how this chemical is going to kill you and we have to stop it. Two, large corporations aren’t going to share this new chemical with the little guy and that means without having access to the new stuff and legally not being able to use salt they will not be able to compete and most likely go out of business.
For some reason the people in control of this country have a real problem with fat people. It might be the fact that in the next ten years everyone will be on the new healthcare system and it’s a way of cutting costs. If that’s a good enough reason to ban salt then it must be good enough reason to ban anything and everything that might someday lead to costly medical bills.
So let’s get rid of anything that could hurt your typical uneducated Neanderthal brained American. I propose we ban: salt, sugar, fat, cigarettes, alcohol, cars, guns, knifes, bows and arrows, bear traps, motorcycles, skate boards, roller blades, ice skates, surfboards, jet skis, snowboards, bicycles, weight benches, Wii controllers, scissors, fire, trampolines, air planes, hang gliders, all sports, electricity, tanning beds, curling irons, sticks and stones, toasters, ladders, trees, fire works, paper, letter openers, staplers, Q-Tips, baby toys, window blinds, wall mounting televisions, over the counter medicine, amusement parks, swimming pools, sling shots, lawn mowers, weed whackers, chain saws, rakes, drills, shovels, hammers, screw drivers, metal, plastic, stairs, elevators, escalators, animals, the Sun, kitchen cabinet doors, tea kettles, insects, rope, teeth, coffee tables with pointy edges, and all free will.
That should make for a safe and healthy America!
By Sean Brett
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Mr. Baconpants is a blog about bacon, beer, and everything else that we find interesting. It's also the home of Bacon LIVE, the only internet show about bacon. [learn more]Contributors
Jason Mosley (aka Mr. Baconpants) is the king of all bacon. He started this blog in 2004 to share his love of bacon and beer.
Sean Brett (aka Bacon Knight) is the amazing co-host of Bacon Live, the weekly audio/video podcast about bacon and more.
Beth Mosley (aka Mrs. Baconpants) is a lover of good food and beer. She enjoys cooking and trying new recipes (with bacon).Archives



