Bacon is Addicting, so that why I’m 400 Pounds

By On April 2, 2010 · 7 Comments · In Bacon

“It’s not my fault I weight 400 pounds I have an addiction.”

The Scripps Research Institute in Jupiter Florida is claiming that bacon might be as addictive as heroin. They are saying that, fatty snacks trigger the same pleasure center in the brain that drives people to drug addiction. They tested this by feeding rat’s bacon, sausage, and cheesecake and administering an electric shock every time the rats ate the yummy treats. The rats continued eating the bacon and just taking the shock. What does this prove? Apparently, that rats conduct electric better than gold and your average bacon lover is one step away from performing tasteless acts in dark alleys for a rasher.

I am so tired of all these reports coming out claiming that fatty food is addictive. All they’re doing is trying to give people an excuse for being fat and the Government an excuse to tax or ban things.

By saying that it is a disease you are giving people a pass and all that does in encourage more of the same behavior. Next thing you know the Government will get involved and claim that bacon is a controlled substance and must be taxed and if these people are sick then the insurance companies will have to take care of them. That would mean we are going to start having rehab clinics for the morbidly obese.

They could make a TV show out of it for TLC. I can see it now, they wheel up a 600 pound blob of a man and Dr. Drew has to lift every fold of fat looking for smuggled chicken nuggets. There would be many heart to heart talks were the blob would admit that his dad ran out on him when he was five, his priest touched him, his mother beat him, and his only friend was a half eaten pot roast (that is until he ate the rest of it) and that is the reason he eats 2 dozen doughnuts for breakfast.

During a difficult detox session where Jabba is only allowed to consume vitamin water and organic whole wheat Paul Newman brand crackers, he will go insane. Screaming about how his body needs bacon and if he could just get one cup cake it will tide him over. Just before blacking out he will make a break for the door only to fall victim to the dreaded act of running.

Then when it looks like he has his demons under control and he successfully lost 1 pound they would let him go. Only to bring him back next season because McDonalds brought back the McRib and the temptation was too great.

Look, there is no hidden reason why you’re fat. You are fat because you choose to eat a lot and not exercise, that’s it. The whole notion that you have a disease and can’t help yourself is pure bull cucky. If that’s true I ask you this, where are the junk food junkies? The guys that are breaking in to houses just to get at your hohos or the muggings outside of the Burger King drive through line. They don’t exist because the addition doesn’t exist.

If you find that you are over weight do yourself a favor and don’t blame anybody (or anything) but yourself. Once you come to the realization that it is your fault, then and only then can you take on the personal responsibility and change your chubby life.

By Sean Brett

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  • baconpocket

    the dreaded act of running…hahahahahahaha

  • http://www.eatnlisten.com Brad

    I think as long as your not smoking or injecting your bacon your not addicted? I can stop eating it anytime, I can, I swear….next thing you know there will be bacon rehab with Dr Drew?

  • Pingback: Bacon LIVE: Sean was High on Fast Food Again | Mr. Baconpants

  • Celina

    I was disguisted when I read this more than any other feelings. First of all, food addiction is a real thing and takes serious will power to overcome especially depending on how deep the emotional wounds are. Everyone is in control of their own lives but snapping ones fingers isnt going to make everything all better. There are places for people who have weight issues and food addictions to get over being a victim and start a new healthy chapter in their lives. There are many different forms of addiction and many different forms of intervention and prevention. People do make excuses behind their unhealthy habits but those reason need to be assessed and taken head on, when the individual is willing to make that leap. No one can change anyone else, they have to do it for themselves. It can be their fault their fat but they may need a hug push in the right direction and a shoulder to cry on.

  • http://www.mrbaconpants.com Sean Brett

    Sorry Celina, food addiction is not real. It’s strange that this addiction to food has only apeared in the last couple years, because correct me if i’m wrong but didn’t we have food before then? We have more food in this country then ever before and less labor intensive jobs and that means people eat more and do less. Also personal responsibility is going out the window in this country, it’s not your fault if you are poor, uneducated, on drugs, a single mother, or fat. It’s easier to play the blame game than to suck it up and deal with your own problems.

  • jay michaels

    Sean Brett – and what are your credentials that qualify as the expert you think to be?

  • http://www.mrbaconpants.com bacon knight

    Well jay, I have been eating food my whole life and I made it past 5th grade. But seriously I was raised to be a big believer in personal responsibility. I think people should do whatever they want as long they don’t hurt others, but anything they choose to do is on them and nobody else.
    People don’t like to accept that their life is a result of their choices and always play the blame game. Now everyone is “addicted” to everything, tv, computers, phones, porn, and now food. When will it end?