beer

Everyone knows that bacon makes everything better. Sadly, beer does not have that same quality. Here is my list of 10 situations that you shouldn’t mix with beer (I also added a link to a video for each one). I am not talking about just having one beer here, I am talking about having one to many in these situations.

  • Kids Sporting Event – Being that drunk parent that beats up a 15 year old for tackling your kid a little “to hard” is not being a good parent. But it sure does make for a great youtube video.
  • Court – Being a drunk defendant or lawyer never works out in your favor. You should know this if you ever had off work and had to watch one of the 20 court shows on daytime television.
  • Work – At first thought this sounds like a good idea until you beat the crap out of a fake reindeer.
  • First Dates – I know how this starts. You are all nervous for your big date and you think you will knock the edge of with a few drinks before you meet. Then by the time your date arrives 20 minutes late you’re tanked. The next day your friend (who set you up) will hear about how you passed out at dinner.
  • Job Interviews – This kind of starts out like the First Date and is equally as damaging. I think the only time this would be appropriate is if you’re going to be a bartender.
  • Going to the Mall – I hate going to the mall but I know that going drunk is not a good idea. The rent-a-cops at the mall will have a field day with you. Also it never looks good when you pass out in the food court.
  • Marathon – You would think this is self explanatory but I bet someone out there has tried it.
  • Walking – If you’re too drunk to dive you have to do it, but it’s always better to get a cap. When your drink you will think you can walk to your house that is five miles away in just a few minutes. Then two hours later you finally make it home.
  • Public Speaking – This one is tricky. For the people that have to listen to you it’s great, but for your reputation this is damaging. Also if your speaking at let’s say the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival it’s expected that you will be toasted. So it all depends on location and context for this one.

That was all I could think of, if you have your own please share them with us via a comment.

The photo used above is from the Sunday Beer Club Anniversary Party.

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7 Responses to 10 Situations that You Shouldn’t Mix with Beer

  1. Snivs says:

    Picking up your kids from daycare — very frowned upon when you so much as have beer breath.

  2. Mosley says:

    Thats funny because I bet the people that work at the daycare drink all day long.

  3. JHayden says:

    Better than beer before a marathon is a case race. Run a mile, drink a beer, repeat. First to finish a case wins. So that works out to be 24 miles and 24 beers. Your time is decided by how fast you run, how fast you drink, and how fast you can run after drinking. I have yet to finish a race.

  4. Jason Mosley says:

    That sounds like it would hurt ;)

  5. [...] up with a few of your own, but Jason’s got a good start. Check out his post.   » Read 10 Situations that You Shouldn’t Mix With Beer (Via MrBaconPants.com) Share [...]

  6. Aaron says:

    Beer used to be allowed at Dell HQ team meetings in the 90s..then one day someone got offended and they banned beer, coffee, and even popcorn…bastards.

  7. Drunk and jobless says:

    Sadly, I’ve done them all, except the marathon. Add church and surfing.

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