Kevin Bacon Gives Bacon a Bad Name

By On July 30, 2007 · 12 Comments · In Everything Else, Featured

I would like to make something clear. I love bacon and everything thing about bacon. I DO NOT like or love Kevin Bacon, and I am going to list the reasons why.

1. You CAN NOT eat Kevin Bacon.
2. Kevin Bacon dose not have good taste.
3. I never see Kevin Bacon at my local grocery store.
4. Seeing Kevin Bacon does not make your mouth water.
5. The sounds Kevin Bacon would make in a hot frying pan would be horrifying.
6. Kevin Bacon dose not smell good in the morning. (This has not be confirmed)
7. Having a Hamburger with Kevin Bacon, doses NOT improve the burgers taste.

That’s all I can think of right now, but I know there are more. If you think of any please feel free to share.

 
  • http://www.erevenueselect.com Jason

    This post was like better than the Tao Te Ching. So wise, yet so… what’s the word? Baconrilliant?

  • http://bostonbrat.net Angela

    Best. Post. Ever. That just earned you some bacon.

  • http://www.mrbaconpants.com Mosley

    @Angela
    Thanks! I am going to enjoy that beer this weekend! ;)

    @Jason
    I love your made up bacontastic words!

  • http://www.erevenueselect.com Jason

    Don’t know how many more I can manage to come up with here, Baconmaster.

  • http://www.theburghbaby.com BBM

    You could make Bacon taste like bacon. Or tea. Or eggs. Or pasta. Or whatever. http://www.baconsalt.com.

  • http://donalyza.com donalyza

    This is very funny. Nice Post!

  • http://www.mrbaconpants.com Mosley

    Thanks I like it too…

  • http://www.freewebs.com/guitar-web787/ vanessa

    why the hell , would you make fun of kevin bacon, just cuz you cant eat him?!

    ps, if you are obbsessed with just bacon, then you need a freakin life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • devon

    one word: obsession

  • http://www.godhatesshrimp.com MaryJane Rottencrotch

    Vanessa, One word: VIBRATOR. Here’s another two: USE IT.

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